Japinoy.com

Maneki Neko:

Q: Ano ang favorite city ni spitz-san?

Ano?!

A: Eh di, Hamsterdam!

Tama ba 'to? paki-analyze nga...

Makes sense ha...hehe


Sabi nila, "It's not the student's fault if he fails in his subjects."

Bakit naman? Sagot nila, "Because the year only has 365 days."

And when you take these factors/things into consideration....

1. Sundays - 52 Sundays in a year. Sunday is rest day. therefore...

Days left: 313.

2. Summer - 50 days of very hot weather.
mahirap daw mag-aral kapag mainit.

Days left: 263.

3. Sleep - Kailangan ng 8 hours araw-araw, hindi ba? Calculate, this equals
to 130 days.

Days left: 141.

4. Relaxation - kailangan mo ng isang oras per day, sabi nila. (goo d for
health) means 15 days.

Days left: 126.

5. Pagkain - tatlong meals, snacktime, 2 hours estimate para doon.(dapat
chew properly). Bilangin mo, equal to 30 days.

Days left: 96.

6. Chit-Chat - "man is a social animal". So sabihin na nating isang oras
per araw kang nakikipang-chikahan. means 15 days.

Days left: 81.

7. Exams - per year, mga 35 exam days.

Days left: 46.

8. Festivals/holidays/araw para sa RALLY o MOB - 37 days.

Balance: 9 days.

9. Illness - nagkakasakit ka rin naman minsan, hindi ba? Sabihin na nating
apat na araw kada taon.

Remaining days: 5.

10. Organ izatio! n - siyempre may mga org activities pa. So 4 na araw para
dun, sabihin natin.

1 day left.

11. Tapos, that 1 day is your birthday. How can you study at that day?

Natitirang araw: 0, nill, nada, none


"SO, san mo isisingit ngayon ang pag-aaral?"

....tama

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling)
collected by schools from all over the country.

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please
execute him. - hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya
niyo yun?

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. -
pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka... siyet! Baka may rabies...

Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32, and also 33. - A grabe to. Nasa kalindaryo pa ang birthday ko kung
ganon. Hahaha!

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. - ano
daw????

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of
a tree and misplaced his hip. - hanapin natin!

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. -
bwehehehe... la ako masabi... Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya
ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya.
Hahaha!!!

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins. - Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!

Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. -
ah.....eh....i.....ow....u....

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)
(dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] - Sinabi
na
kasi "LBM" na lang e. Pasosyal pa kasi.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. - So transexual
pala si Irving?

I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I
don't know what size she wear.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought
it was Sunday. - tangna! winner!!!!!!!!!! Ang galing!!!!
Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her
funeral. - Ala e! "Mabuhay ang Patay!!" "Mayroong Himala!!!"

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could
not breed well. - stud service ba yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.

Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. - Ay grabe!
Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore
throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and
sore
throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't
the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going
around, her father even got hot last night. - hahaha, telenovela... bow.

Makuwento siya ha... Kulang lang sa pansin...

i'm charged, in charge, and charging.

waaah!!! grabe oo nga makes sense hehehe,,kaya pala bumagsak ako ng 2 subjects before...

THEREFORE I CONCLUDE that this theory should be a principle hahahaha!!! ryuchi-san principle: THE SCHOOL FAILING PRINCIPLE!!hahahah 

nyahaha.. natawa ako dun sa mga excuse letters!! super bobo! nakakabaliw! hehehehe.. bentang benta sakin!  

 mmm,actually this one is true to life ndi po sya joke pero grabe!! parang gus2 ko lumubog..sabi ba naman nung isang babe..dont remember when and how it was brought up pero years ago na,,"MAY DINOSAUR PA NGAYON"!!!! waaah!!! proud pa sya sabihin dun sa kausap nya ,,gwaboo!!!

Learn Japanese

-Is this your property?

     Arimoto?

-Yes this is my property.

     Arikoto.

-Sa iyo ba ito?

    Sayobato?

-This is mine.

     Sakinitu.

-Can i have it?

     Akinato?

-You can have it.

      Sayonato.

-You have not washed your face.

     Mimutamatamo.

-You have grown so thin.

     Kitanabutomo.

-We had a big get-together.

      Kitakitakami.

*dies* XD grabeh! XD haha. bumenta na nmn sakin kahit na alam ko na tong mga jokes na to XD hehe.

Masakit ba ang ulo mo dahil sa problema?

May gamot na!!!

TOGMORON 500.

I un-TOGMORON sa pader ang ulo mo 500x.

Tandaan.

TOG

MO

RON!

Pag di effective,

TOGMOPA 250. 

 hahaha natawa ko jan jurusu-san haha nice one! XD

 Q: Anong apelyido ni Sisa?
A: Sisa Mistrit

Q: Anong apelyido ni Cedie?
A: Cedie Player

Q: Anong apleyido ni Beast?
A: Beast Kwit

Q: Anong first name ni Nemo?
A: Sarahgero Nemo

Q: Anong apelyido ni Punisher?
A: Punisher Ranno

Q: Anong apelyido ni Denzel?
A: Denzel Weta

Q: Anong apelyido ni Curly?
A: Curly Gazpi

Q: Ano last name ni Anchor?
A: Anchor Tis

Q: Ano last name ni Jewel?
A: Jewel Torre

Q: Ano last name ni Kula?
A: Kula Desma

Q: Ano surname ni Joseph?
A: Joseph Protgam

Q: Anong apelyido ni Aiko?
A: Aiko Zada

Q: Anong apelyido ni Christopher?
A: Christopher Minute

Q: Anong apelyido ni Palito?
A: Palito Lippi

Q: Anong first name ni Keno?
A: Krisa Keno

Q: Ano first name ni Janno?
A: Eduman Janno

Q: Ano first name ni Squall?
A: Piolopa Squall

Q: Ano first name ni Basilio?
A: Lacto Basilio

Q: Ano first name ni Pikachu?
A: Cherrypie Pikachu

Q: Ano first name ni Kenny G?
A: Johnep Kenny G

Q: ano ang first name ni Volta?
A: Johntra Volta

Q: Ano first name ni Diether?
A: Tirso Cruz Diether

 Atty: asan ka ng mangyari ang rape???
Witness: sa maisan
Atty: anong ginagawa mo dun??
Witness: nagbabawas Po
Atty: ilang hakbang ka mula sa krimen??
Witness: Aba ewan!!! may nagbabawas bang pahakbang hakbang??

Farmer: lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na...ano ang balak
mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: flowers papa!!! madaming madaming flowers! pretty diba?! 

spitz:

Adik! Adik! XD haha! ngayon ko lang nabasa to! XD mais talaga! mais! popcorn!

ryuchi:

 Atty: asan ka ng mangyari ang rape???
Witness: sa maisan
Atty: anong ginagawa mo dun??
Witness: nagbabawas Po
Atty: ilang hakbang ka mula sa krimen??
Witness: Aba ewan!!! may nagbabawas bang pahakbang hakbang??

hahaha.. ang kukulit..

eto sakin..

IN A CLASSY BAR..

German: Waiter, REMY MARTIN, double!

French: Waiter, CARLO ROSSI, single

Pinoy: (naku! papakilala pa pala bago umorder) Waiter, POPOY ROQUE, hiwalay! 

*****

BF: Hon, pano kung malaman mo na may ibang babae akong mahal?

GF: wala lang..huhugutin ko lang throat motas isasaksak ko sa baga mo then babalatan kita at lalagyan ng asin ang flesh mo. Tapos ung line to heaven mo tataniman ko ng bomba at pasasabugin ko. why?

BF: ( hinga malalim)..wala lang.. curious lang.. lab you!

hanep!

****

A philosophy teacher challenging a student of her faith in God.. 

Teacher: To see is to believe. Have you seen God?

Student: No sir. I haven't.

Teacher: Then there is no God.

Student: Sir, may i ask a question? Have you seen your brain?

Teacher: No.

Student: Mga classmates uwi na tayu! Walang utak si sir!

hehehe.. un lang..

*****

Pasosyal na girl sa bus.

         Girl : Manong conductor, can you get my luggage please? Mejo mabigat kasi..

Konduktor: Alin dito miss?

         Girl: Uhmmm... that one oh!... yung sako! XD 

aoi:

BF: Hon, pano kung malaman mo na may ibang babae akong mahal?

GF: wala lang..huhugutin ko lang throat motas isasaksak ko sa baga mo then babalatan kita at lalagyan ng asin ang flesh mo. Tapos ung line to heaven mo tataniman ko ng bomba at pasasabugin ko. why?

BF: ( hinga malalim)..wala lang.. curious lang.. lab you!

 

hanep!

namataya ako sa joke na to!! nyahahahahaha!!! kulet!!! nyahahaa!!! XD